Grief and kisses

I just got an email from a friend asking how the transition to motherhood is going, so here is some more reflection on that theme...

I am enjoying motherhood very much--in a lot of ways it feels more natural than I expected. I've seen some cool things come out in me that I didn't know were there...a lot of compassion and patience that is surprising at times.

The transition has been monumental but it already feels normal. She is so precious. Lately she's moved into a phase of grieving all the changes. This manifests as disproportionate frustration and irritability (more than is normal for her age) and a lot of tears around naps and going to bed at night. Last night we had to hold her while she cried for more than an hour. It's hard, but it brings out a tenderness in us that helps us get through it. It's very healthy for her to be doing this grieving, so we want to support her through it in any way we can.

We've also learned to be flexible about a lot of things, for example (in case I haven't mentioned it before), we have mastered the art of the standing diaper change because she throws such a fit if we try to lay her down on the changing table. In the end, what does it really matter, right? We know that kids are going to be distressed some of the times, but we'd rather save the tears for the really important stuff, like grieving.

She's not sad all the time, though. There are many happy moments. She's been into kissing lately and loves to plant wet, drooly, snotty kisses on our lips! :-) It's very sweet, if slightly gross. She also loves music and dancing. In church on Sunday a group of Russian students were singing a special song and right in the middle the Spirit hit her and she decided to sing along. Everybody turned around and smiled at her. She was a hit!

Her walking is getting better and better every day (she's been walking for about 4 weeks--several months behind her chronological age, but on target with her physical size, since she is about the size of a 12 month old.)

We've been pleased that she has been able to go on little outings many times a week, taking the bus to the grocery store or a park to hang out with my friend Amy and her new baby. She's even been to McDonald's a few times and loves chicken nuggets. Last night she was there with Matt and he didn't have any sippy cup for her, so he got an apple juice drink box. He didn't want to give her straight juice because we always dilute it, so he mixed it with bubbly water. They ended up playing this funny game with her making "blech!" faces every time she would take a sip. She hated the bubbles, but she loved the attention she got from her reaction. :-)

We've had an overwhelmingly loving response from people here at the Seminary and our TeachOverseas community. People have brought us food, loaned us digital camers (ours broke but we have a new one on the way with my parents in a few weeks), and showered her with love every time we're out with her. She is the darling of the Seminary these days, which is nice.
Overall, I just feel deeply blessed, despite the tiredness and the lack of time to do the things that used to be so important to me. I usually get an episode of Gilmore Girls in each day during her nap and that tides me over till the next day. :-)

Well, it's time to go start making lunch. My life has become so predictable... :-)