June Baby... Maybe?

Today we met with the Magistrate--the top official who heads the adoption system in Prague--and got some new, surprising info.

The short version is: we may meet and bring our daughter home as soon as early June.

For anyone who is interested in the details, here's the scoop. Because we've finished with the adoption training, there are no more hoops to jump through. Today the Magistrate asked us some final questions about what kind of child we are hoping for. Our answer

• a girl
• no older than 1 year, but preferably younger than 6 months (2 months is the minimum adoptable age for babies because they have to have no contact from the mother for 6 weeks before they are available)
• Roma or other minority ethnicity (could be Roma, Vietnamese, Africa/Czech or some combination thereof...)
• no major, non-correctable health problems

These parameters will be entered into their database and we will be matched with available babies. Almost everyone we've talked to has said that once they were in the database, they had a call to come meet their baby within weeks. We've told the Magistrate that we won't be ready before June 1st, because both of us have teaching committments to that time. I actually am contracted to teach through the end of June, but June is a less important month than May, so if I have to take maternity leave, it's probably okay in June.

So, the next steps are to talk to my school and give them the heads up, buy some last minute baby supplies so we'll be ready (although we have a lot, we still need some items like a high chair, diapers, formula etc.), and check with the Baptist Seminary about when will make sense to move on campus.

One surprising thing was that the Magistrate didn't seem overly worried about checking that we have a new valid visa for the coming school year. We are hoping that will prove not to be an issue and that we can get the baby while the visa is still in process. That would be a huge answer to prayer because we have been very worried that the visa would hold everything up.

How are we feeling about all this?, you might ask.... I think we're still a little bit shocked. I've lost the sense of imminent reality about it which I had about a month ago when I was feeling terribly ready to "just get started already!" The visa setbacks discouraged me quite a bit and I think I shut down the part of myself that was feeling ready, or rather put it on hold for a while. So now I'm going to have to build up that sense again in the next month or so. I think that will be plenty of time.

Matt seems excited--in his slightly muted, Matt way. He's more patient with all the changes and uncertainty than I am. We were both pleased today to learn that we will be able to visit the baby home in the next few weeks to see what it's like. He's especially looking forward to that and I think it will make it more real to him.

Well, that's our latest. Feel free to email or call (or post comments here) for more details. We love hearing from you guys!

We're all trained up--evidently

So, on Wednesday (the 19th of April), we attended our first and evidently last training session for the adoption. This type of training has become a common requirement for adoptions worldwide, which is a good step because there are a lot of things that adoptive parents need help being prepared for. For example:

• potential developmental delays that kids who have lived in institutional care often have
• tips about the process of attaching in a relationship with a child who was not born to you
• building trust and helping children adapt to a new environment
• how to deal with the grief and loss that children (and parents) experience in adoption in healthy ways
• honoring your child's history and cultural background, instilling a health sense of identity
• and lots more things that are good to think about it advance

In March and April, we took an online course about these and other topics, which was produced by the state of Illinois. It was really helpful and we hoped the Czech authorities would accept it in place of having to attend the Czech training sessions.

On Wednesday we went to the first Czech training session, just to cover our bases. We were able to talk with the Magistrate--the woman in charge of our case--and show her our certificate from the online course. She said it would be fine and all we need to do is come in and meet with her for about an hour to go over some additional details.

We were excited to hear this news because it potentially puts us closer to "B-Day" (being "Baby Day.") Things are still a little up in the air, but this is a good step.

How to be praying:

• for this one hour meeting with the Magistrate, that we'll get a clearer sense of what comes next and what to expect in terms of timing of being matched to a child
• for wisdom about timing (because we will be moving to a new flat at the end of June, around the time of my sister's wedding in California, we aren't sure if the baby might come before that or not--it could be tricky, but we'd love to meet the baby as soon as possible)
• for our first meeting with our child and for God's grace in the process of attachment and coming to love and trust each other
• for the American immigration process she'll have to go through (all the paperwork to make her a citizen and help her be able to move back with us when the time comes)
• for peace as we wait and attention to the things we're still involved in (teaching, relationships, etc.), to stay focused on "the now"

Some useful info from a bureaucrat? Wow!

Some good news, at last! Well, at least useful news.

This morning my colleague was able to help us speak with the Magistrate's office and we learned that we can definitely go to California for my sister's wedding because we won't be able to meet the baby until after our adoption training course is finished (which will probably be at least 3-4 more months, meaning August or September at the earliest.)

We had wondered if they might wait till the course was over to call us, since all the Czech applicants who are at our stage in the process will have to complete the course, so our file is probably in the batch with them. The latest we had heard is that we might not have to do the Czech training course (we're taking one online in English from an American adoption agency), but we'll have to go to the first session on April 19th to find out more details because we haven't been able to get a straight answer.

At this point, even if we have to take the course in Czech (with a translator), or don't have to go to every session but have to wait until it's over, that will be okay with me. The disadvantages of that new reality:

• We don't get to meet our baby as soon (it might not be till August or later)
• We might have to pay a translator for 10 sessions

However, the advantages are actually pretty cool:

• I had already reconciled myself to August or later because it looks like our new visas won't be ready till then anyway
• This means we can go to Sarah's wedding without any worries
• We can also spend several weeks in California, seeing friends and family, meeting the new ESI teachers at training (for the first week), and stocking up on some things for next year

So, overall, this is good news. And from a bureaucrat, no less! :-)

By the way... The photo in the post has absolutely nothing to do with the adoption, but it is from a recent trip we took together for our church retreat in the interesting town of Kutna Hora.

Pressed down, but not destroyed...

In the last few days, we've had some discouraging news and I've been feeling a mix of sadness, frustration, and confusion.

On Monday, we learned that the process of applying for a new visa to be in the Czech Republic next year is going to take longer than we thought. We need a new visa because I will no longer be teaching at the Czech high school, since we will be living and both working at the Baptist Seminary.

The implication of this news is that, while we hoped we might get to meet and bring our baby home (to our Czech flat--not yet to the States) as early as June, it will now more likely be August or even later.

At first, I was terribly sad about this because I have been feeling SO ready and longing to meet the baby and get started! The last few days we've been scrambling, trying to find any other way to make it happen faster. However, it seems like we probably just have to accept this as the new reality.

Why does this feel like such a loss to me? Well, part of it is that it's frustrating and hard not to have a "due date" for this baby, like most women have. We can't plan easily. Additionally, we realized recently that it has now been more than 9 months since we decided to adopt--so we're feeling a sort of natural sense of "Where is this baby!?" Additionally, things seemed so positive at our last adoption interview and it really seemed likely that we would have her by June. I had so hoped to have the summer to get to know her and begin the process of attachment (which is harder in adoption than for children born to parents) before we will be starting new jobs.

Yesterday I hit a point of discouragement and anger, especially with Czech bureaucracy, where I just wanted to yell at God, "What are you doing?!? Where are you?!?" This was God's answer:

"I love you and I know what you need. Trust me to take care of these things and to bring this together in my perfect timing. In the meantime, just do the next right thing. Get the papers together and work as a team in doing it (you and Matt). Use this time to grow together. I am making you more ready. While you wait, keep your heart in the here-and-now. There are still things that I want to do in your relationships with your students, colleagues and Czech friends. Be listening for my Spirit's prompting. The fruit is ripe. I'm also working on you to bring deeper healing to some areas of your heart and spirit before you become a mom. The time will come. It's coming soon. You don't need to rush. I am taking care of it."

God continues to minister to me with this profound, healing word of grace that pierces through to my heart and reminds me that He knows me and what I need better than I do. And I needed to hear again that God wants to spread that grace to others around me through faithful relationships with them. This morning I read:

"We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...
...It is written: 'I believed; therefore I have spoken.' Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak... All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God...Therefore, we do not lose heart."

~from 2 Corinthians 4:7-17

God, I won't lose heart. Let your grace reach more and more people through me.

Things to pray about:
1. That God would work out the adoption timing in his perfect time.
2. That we would have wisdom as we buy plane tickets to go to my sister's wedding on July 1st (how long to stay in California before returning to Prague? should we stay long enough to be at ESI training to meet the new teachers or should we come back sooner?)
3. Ministry opportunities in these last few months with my students and colleagues, ongoing relationships with them.
4. Our financial needs for the coming year (we will be on full-time missionary support next year, which is a little bit scary, but also good because it will free us up to be 100% devoted to the work at the Seminary and to bonding with our new baby and helping her get adjusted to life in a new family/culture/language etc.)
5. We are hoping to gather some more frequent flyer miles from Lufthansa or United Air to help us bring the baby and ourselves home at the end of the next school year. Please pray that God will help us get those miles somehow.